" And such as violate the covenant he shall pervert and seduce with flatteries, but the people who know their God shall prove themselves strong and shall stand firm and do exploits [for God].."
The Webster dictionary of “flattery” are the following:
The act or practice flattering.
Excessive or insincere praise.
In the Strong’s Complete Dictionary of Bible Words, “flattery” is from the root word “chalaqqah” (khal-ak-kaw') which means “smooth”.
There is a distinct difference between someone giving you a compliment and someone utilizing flattery. A compliment is comprised of sincere congrats or praise founded out of a heart of authentic admiration. *Flattery, however, is toadying which is a self-serving person who behaves in a servile, sycophantic manner, fawning on and flattering people with power or influence (Bing Dictionary).
People don’t normally look at flattery as a negative thing, but it is one of the keys that opens the door to torment. The art of flattery is used like butter to prepare your heart for the acceptance of pain and hurt. Flattery is often times used to give you exactly what you want to hear, thereby seducing your mind to relax your personal standards.
I challenge every woman to be keenly aware of words used to enhance or confirm your imagination. Love is not a soap opera experience and intimate friendships don’t happen overnight. In the same token, no one can build your success but Christ. But slippery words are a creative force often piloted by the recipient’s insecurity.
In today’s society the art of flattery has cultivated a genre of “silly women”. Women are famished for attention, for words of affirmation and love. This hunger has equipped women to accept deceptive adjectives to be used to validate them. Thereby allowing what should be used to “secure” a woman’s emotions to actually be used to “annihilate” a woman’s confidence.
There is not one woman who hasn’t experienced flattery. However, usually the one who is flattering has studied a person’s intimate behavior, their responses to life and the condition of their heart. Most wounded women tend to leave a trail of brokenness which makes them easy targets. A word that stimulates emotions of security will open the heart to a broken woman every time.
Here are how the traps of flattery work:
Opening of the gates!
The person carrying the spirit of flattery waits to get your attention! They search for the optimum moment where your eyes, ears and heart are open at the same time. The person who uses flattery looks for and trusts your insecurity. Their objective is to get you to listen to their personal agenda as well as expose through your own imagination what you believe love is. In other words, spill the beans about your life. Tell the flatterer what is wrong so that they can be the vice (defect or failing) of security that establishes your new world.
Be very careful what you share with another individual. Women need to stop telling all of their personal business within the first 30 minutes of meeting someone. Your mouth-gate is the first area of defense that will help to establish peace. Shut it and you will experience less torment. The flatterer gets their information from what you disclose. Learn how to be wise and silent. This is a great weapon of peace.
The flatterer comes into agreement!
Once you have exposed your innermost secrets, he or she agrees with your private pain, hurt and offenses thereby making you think you are validated. This action then begins the cycle of public misplaced trust. It is public because the flatterer rallies to have an audience with your most trusted friends and confidants. This tactic is used to cause confusion, mistrust and disloyalty between you and the people who are in your life.
It rally’s for your trust!
Now that the flatterer has your trust, he or she begins their deceit through lies and manipulation to obtain whatever you may have of value. It will uphold his or her lies through securing your isolation by simply stating there is no one else who qualifies to handle your emotions. It will literally compare itself to others in your current or past circumstances to defend his or her illusion of trust.
The flatterer obtains its goal!
The flatterer obtains his or her goal through your misguided anxiety and fear of people. Once you become no longer useful to his or her personal agenda, you are dropped without notification, communication or explanation. Torment now has its perfect storm.
You ponder and wonder about what could have made this perfect person leave your life. Suddenly you’re searching for answers. While searching for your answers, your personality and temperament changes. You become increasingly paranoid about people and start to blame the world for your turmoil. You never really understand that is was the seduction of flattery which beguiled you. So you’re left holding an empty promise which has produced isolation and abandonment.
You may be saying to yourself, OMG!!! THIS IS ME!!! I experienced this!!!! You are also probably pondering how to sharpen your discernment against such openings. It really all begins with your relationship with Christ. It is within your relationship with Christ that you become accustomed to the private, familiar love language that you share. As stated before, flattery is used to obtain your private position and/or public possessions. Become skilled at God’s language for yourself. He has a specific way of speaking to you. He trains you on how to communicate His will in your life through your personal relationship with Him. This is the full-proof way of identifying the enemy of your soul. The enemy will not speak in the same nature as Christ does to you. The enemy’s perverted conversation will always invigorate your flesh as compared to Christ, who will permanently fuel you towards eternal life.
Because of the deliverance nature of my ministry, hundreds of people have come to me with flattering words. I remember such a time when there was a powerful manifestation of God’s glory that produced healing throughout the evening. Cancer was cured. People were able to walk again and relationships were saved. It was during this high potency of glory that my character and relationship with Christ was put on trial. For though God’s glory was magnified and His anointing on my life was potent, I still had insecurities. Insecurities occupy the hidden things that creep into the crevasses of your heart and grow like mold. You never really know they are there until a crisis comes along.
In addition, this element of insecurity was the foundation of my torment. I struggled with the thoughts of being good enough to serve mankind. It was whispered in the dawn of my awakening to who I was in Christ, that my skills were not adequate enough. Not realizing man’s optimism about my demise was the indicator that Christ was very pleased with me, I held on to the words of man. Because of this, only the words of man could satisfy my personal acceptance of who I was. Therefore, flattery tested my character.
One day, I accepted the words of one who latched on to me. I was pleased and thought that she was sent of God to help me with the ministry. She used my name and influence to build her own brand. Even went as far as to steal my identity and call my trusted friends her friends. Before it was all said and done, I almost lost everything. It broke me in such a way, that my relationship with people began to be challenged. I had to come to a place of understanding the lesson. First, I had to let go of my private torment and believe what Christ said about me. Secondly, I had to secure my own perimeters with His unfailing love. Thirdly, I had to stop looking for man to say “well done” and realize that this accolade can only come from God Himself. There is no reward man can give that equals in magnitude the meaning of Christ saying “well done”! Fourthly, I had to close my gates. The only words I hear now are my prayers and communication to Christ.
When you hear flattery, know that your character and relationship are being tested. When you know God, flattery will remain in the mouth of the one who spoke it. And for those who may have lost something because of flattery, God is saying, “YOU WILL RECOVER ALL!” Learn how to communicate with Christ and your heart will be secured and satisfied with His affection alone. And you will do great exploits for Him.
"And such as violate the covenant he shall pervert and seduce with flatteries, but the people who know their God shall prove themselves strong and shall stand firm and do exploits [for God].." Daniel 11:32